Validation vs Feedback
Oh yeah! I have done something good. People will accept and praise me about what I have done so that I will be happy and satisfied.
If this has crossed your mind for once or for several times, then you’re waiting for someone’s validation unconsciously. Is it really required for someone to accept what you have done? And only if so they accept, then you feel happy and satisfied? What if you have done exceptionally well and there’s not even a single person to praise about you? Will you stop doing it? Will you be worried about what others think about you rather than being happy in spite of the fact that, what you have done is exceptionally great and invaluable?
I had read a fable which had a beautiful insight and I love to share this with you.
There was a small village and an old man was selling fruits and veggies in the market. He had a small placard, which displayed “Fresh fruits and veggies sold here!”. One guy came and told, by looking at the fruits we can say it’s fresh why have you mentioned it? Just remove — It doesn’t make any sense. Then the old man thought he was right and changed the words written on a placard to “Fruits and veggies sold here!”. Next day one more woman came and said, we can see that, you are selling fruits and veggies and not a fish here. Why do you have fruits and veggies mentioned? Then he changed the words again to “Sold here!”. The same evening a small boy was going home from his school where he met this old man and said, you’re in the market to sell and not to do any other sort of thing. Why have you put sold here on the board? Then the old man removed “sold” and just went with “Here!”. Again the next morning, another woman came and laughed at him by looking at the placard and told, you’re standing here and we can see with our broad eyes. Why the hell are you displaying “here” on the placard. The helpless old man erased everything on the placard and made it blank. Finally, a man came up and said, you’re selling fresh fruits and veggies here. Why don’t you display “Fresh fruits and veggies sold here!” instead of an empty board?
If you keep on listening to what people say, you lose your own value and then you become slave to them being judged and waiting for their approval and validation in every moment of your life which you have.
Don’t seek for someone’s validation. Not even a single being can satisfy everyone.
BE YOU!!!
Now comes the real part. What if I don’t listen to anyone and I run my own race? And rule my own kingdom? It may lead to dominance, egoistic mind and misrepresentation of what truly is.
If you are in this mode of living, then your mind would be cluttered, so much that you’re not even aware whether you’re doing sensible things or not. It’s a dangerous mode of living. Whatever you do, you feel it’s right. Again, it doesn’t mean that you must please others by doing things which makes them happy. Take consideration of what others’ suggest.
You: Hey, I felt that you were rude to that guy!
Me: I will be more polite next time I talk to him. Thank you.
That’s called a feedback. Just listen to what they say and if you feel it right, take a call or else you will be aware of how others’ think about what you do. If you’re completely aware about the things what you’re doing, then you will be doing something sensible. Isn’t it?
Feedback is just a corrective action plan that you get from others. It can be from your spouse, children, friends, or even a gut feeling. It comes for your own good. By analyzing (not judging) and taking it into consideration, you can improve and live your life much better.
You can make a life and live for yourself or for others’.
The Choice is yours. Make it wise!
